itu bentuknya ramping, indah, dagingnya pink muda dan enak dimakan. Tapi
sayangnya mahal, soalnya import.
INI WANITA KARIR.....
IKAN SAPU-SAPU
itu murah dan selalu nempel dikaca akuarium atau ikan lain. Udah tau cowo
yang diincer sudah punya cewe tapi tetep percaya dirinya tinggi dan
nyodorin diri. Kalo udah nempel,susah banget lepasnya.
INI CEWEK KESEPIAN SEKALIGUS GATEL....
IKAN LELE
itu murah dan bisa dimakan kapan saja. Tapi hati-hati,ada patilnya.
INI CEWEK PANGGILAN....
IKAN MAS KOKI
itu mahal, indah bentuknya, warna, dan lenggak-lenggoknya. Sayangnya hanya
bisa dikagumi, tak bisa dimakan,karena ikan hiasan.
INI BINI ORANG.....
IKAN TERI
Rasanya asin,murah, bentuk dan rasanya begitu-begituuu...saja. Selalu enak
dimakan kalau lagi tidak ada sayur.
INI BINI SENDIRI.....
blogged by Simbah_je @ 10:58 PM
Monday, April 26, 2004
TITANIC............. dalam beberapa versi
+ Versi asli, Titanic Version (versi setia sampe mati)
- You jump... I jump !
+ Versi ngajak-ngajak
- I want to jump... anybody else want to jump ?
+ Versi pemimpin
- I jump... all of you jump after me !
+ Versi pengikut
- We will jump after you jump.
+ Versi penakut
- You jump... tell me if it is ok... then I jump.
+ Versi ogah-ogahan
- I've already jumped last time... now it is your turn to jump.
+ Versi iklan
- You should jump because every celebrities and famous people jump.
+ Versi programmer
- If you.jump then I.jump
+ Versi logika implikasi
- If you jump then I jump that means if you don't jump I might still
jump.
+ Versi nggak percayaan
- You jump.... are you sure you want to jump?... no
kidding?....promise?...
+ Versi penjudi
- We'll throw a coin if it is head, I jump... if it is tail you jump.
+ Versi Tarzan baru kenalan dengan Jane
- "You Jump, Me Tarzan."
+ Versi Forest Gump
- "My name is Jump, Forest Jump."
+ Versi sinetron Catatan si Boy
- "Kamu sangat ke-jump, Boy!"
+ Versi 007
- "My name Bond, Jump's Bond."
+ Versi Waktu
- "Jump sabaraha?"
- "Jump 10 kurang lima."
+ Versi Betawi......
- Ini Aye Abang............Jump-ang !
+ Versi korban tindak kekerasan
- Tolooongggggggg............. Jump bret!!!!!!
+ Versi dukun santet
- Nich gue kasih jumpe jumpe ....biar selamet dunie akherat!!!
+ Versi wiraswasta gendong-gendong
- Mau jump-u apa mas.... galian singset apa kabel.......?
+ Versi pedagang kaki lima
- Di-jump-in tidak luntur .. luntur tidak di-jump-in...!!!
blogged by Simbah_je @ 9:21 AM
Sunday, April 25, 2004
How Attractive Are You?!
Hey, try it out and see how attractive you can be to the opposite sex.
1. Which place do u want to have a travel most?
A. Beijing ..............................................................go to q.2
B. Tokyo ..............................................................go to q.3
C. Paris ...............................................................go to q.4
2. Have you ever cried when u see a touching movie?
A. Yes......................................go to q.4
B. No.............................................................go to q.3
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend still has not come after an hour of your date with him/her, what will you do?
A. wait for another 30 mins.................go to q.4
B. leave immediately..............................................go to q.5
C. wait until he/she comes..................go to q.6
4. Do u like to go to see a movie alone?
A. Yes......................................go to q.5
B. No.............................................................go to q.6
5. When he/she asks for a kiss in your first date, what will you do?
A. Refuse...................................go to q.6
B. light kiss on his/her forehand...........go to q.7
C. Agree and kiss him/her...................go to q.8
6. Are you a humorous person?
A. I think I am.............................go to q.7
B. I think I am not.........................go to q.8
7. Do you think you are a capable leader?
A. Yes......................................go to q.9
B. No.......................................go to q.10
8. Which gender will you choose to be born if you are given a chance?
A. Male.....................................go to q.9
B. Female...................................go to q.10
C. I don't mind.............................Type D (go straight to results below)
9. Have you ever got more than one boyfriends or girlfriends at a time
A.Yes......................................Type B (go straight to results below)
B. No.......................................Type A (go straight to results below)
10. Do you think you are intelligent?
A. Yes......................................Type B (go straight to results below)
B. No.......................................Type C (go straight to results below)
RESULTS
Type A : Congratulations! You can extremely attract the opposite sex!
You possess a charming beauty in the eyes of them. You not only have a pretty figure, but also have a humorous and gentle personality. You should be a literate person and know how to get along with people and can allocate your time well, thus you are always popular among the opposite sex.
Type B : Quite good! You can easily attract the opposite sex, but you will not easily into the loving trap. Your humor makes them want to get along with you. He/She will be happy being with you!
Type C : Not bad! You cannot attract the opposite sex very well, but you still have something good which make them like to get along with you. You should be an honest person and have a unique view in seeing things. You are quite friendly in the eyes of your friends.
Type D : Oh! You do not attract the opposite sex. You do not have much knowledge, and not much intrinsic humane values. You are too rude to the opposite sex. Thus you are not very popular among them.
blogged by Simbah_je @ 1:36 PM
Friday, April 23, 2004
Story Number one
*******************
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all
the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until
finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So
the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the Feet
twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered.
Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so the
motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the shit!
Management Lesson:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
Story Number two
******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As
the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how
warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of
cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is! your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! blogged by Simbah_je @ 8:26 AM
Friday, April 16, 2004
Virusss
Wah ternyata virus malas sudang banyak menjangkiti anak2, termasuk saya sendiri. Hampir semuanya berkeluh kesah kalo lagi pada puncak kemalasan, males kuliah, males bangun, males jaga sampe yang laen2.
Perlu segera ada penangkal virus malas dengan segera neh...biar ga menyebar semakin dalam. Bayangin ajah proposal dipresentasikan senin hari jumat baru ngerjain, opo ga fatal kuwi, tapi apa daya gak mampu melawan.....
blogged by Simbah_je @ 8:46 AM
Friday, April 09, 2004
Ceria di Pagi
Pagi-pagi gini enaknya dengerin musik sama baca jokes bagi yang mau ketawa silahkan yang gak mau juga boleh, bebas kok sante wae...
Pengakuan dosa
Pada suatu hari, ada 3 orang yang hendak mengaku dosa pada seorang pendeta beragama katolik. Ketiga orang itu bernama Ucok, Upik dan Bombom, si remaja nakal yang terkenal di kampungnya....
Ucok : Pak pendeta, saya telah mencuri ayam milik tetangga....
Pdt : Dosamu telah diampuni, pergilah dan minumlah air suci
Lalu pergilah Ucok dan meminum air suci..... (Bombom tertawa)
Upik : Pak pendeta, saya telah memukul orang hingga babak belur tanpa alasan...
Pdt : Dosamu telah diampuni, pergilah dan minumlah air suci.....
Lalu pergilah Upik meminum air suci.....(Bombom tertawa lebih keras)
Pdt : Dan kamu Bombom, anakku... Dosa apa lagi yang telah engkau perbuat?
Bombom :(dengan polos) Saya telah kencing di air suci, bapa.....
Pdt : @#$%*&!!!
superhero
Karena tiap hari selalu memerangi kejahatan, lama kelamaan Superman bosen juga. Maka dari itu hari Jum'at malem dia memutuskan untuk jalan-jalan keluar cari hiburan.
Dia mampir kerumah Batman.
"Hei Bet !", katanya
"Keluar yuuk!"
"Yah, nggak bisa", jawab Batman.
"Batmobile gua mogok jadi gua dirumah aja ngebetulin dulu, kalo enggak nanti gua kaga bisa memerangi kejahatan doong".
"Ahh payaahh lu!", kata Superman sambil terus terbang.
Terus dia mampir kerumah Spiderman.
"Hei, Deeer, gimana kalo kita jalan-jalan cari angin malem ini, bedua aja lu ama gua?" tanyanya.
"Wuah asik juga yaa, tapi sorry gua kaga bisa", jawab Spiderman,
"Jaring laba-laba gua kusut dan bolong-bolong, dan gua kudu buru-buru benerin biar bisa ngadepin kejahatan, sorry yaa Men".
Superman makin kesel, "Ah emang payah lu semuaa ! Masa Jum'at malem ngebetulin sarang laba-laba".
Wuusshh!!! Langsung aja dia terbang.
Lagi enak-enak terbang, dari atas dia liat Wonder Woman telanjang bulat sambil telentang.
Superman ngomong dalam hati, "Hey, gua kan Superman, gua bisa turun kebawah dengan kecepatan cahaya, cepet-cepet gitu-in terus terbang lagi, pasti Wonder Woman gak kerasa udah digituin ama gua".
Dengan pikiran seperti itu Superman menukik kebawah, ngerjain si Wonder Woman :"Sleepeeet !"
Dengan cepat kluar-masuk kluar-masuk dan terbang balik dengan kecepatan cahaya.
Wonder woman kaget :"Eh apaan tuh barusan ?"
Invisible Man jawabnya :"Gak tauk tuuh..., tapi...aduuuh tiba-tiba pantat gue sakiiiit buangett".
blogged by Simbah_je @ 9:16 AM
Sunday, April 04, 2004
BSA M20
Salah satu motor yang keberadaannya masi cukup banyak terutama di jawa, Bikinan tahun 1938 Birmingham Small Arm England
blogged by Simbah_je @ 10:23 PM
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Sesi 4
Hari ini aku jaga malem lagi, huehh.... tidur masih belum cukup udah jaga lagi apalagi besok siangnya jaga lagi jam 1 huh~~. Sambil dengerin isabella di winamp sambil nguap-nguap juga akhirnya badan ini bisa juga dipaksa buat jaga. Ada sesuatu yang agak-agak laen malem ini... apakah itu?
Gak ada user sama sekali dari pas aku mulai jaga. Gak tau mau sampek jam berapa kosongnya. Ya udah to malah enak, kalo ngantuk bisa disambi tidur apa leyeh-leyeh. Trus besok pas jaga lagi bisa rada segeran dikit. *Ups ada user dateng 1 orang :D*
Hari ini bagi aku keliatannya berjalan pendek banget. Soalnya seharian tadi aku habisin buat tidur, kata orang jaga stamina gitu biar jam tidurnya gak kurang heheheh dari jam 9 pagi pulang jaga sampek jam 5 sore tidur. Trus nyuci motor abis itu nonton tv 'n gak kerasa udah harus tugas lagi. Kata Tia "enak mana suruh milih antara jaga malem ama kuliah 12 jam" hmm.... jelas aku milih.....jaga malem hahahahah la 12 jam kuliah jeh apa gak nguap tuh kepalanya. Wes ah mo rokokan dulu di depan warnet sapa tau ada yang ngasih duit hueheuehueh....
blogged by Simbah_je @ 12:31 AM
